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Sticky Notes 5

I guess it's a boy:

So I thought perhaps the funniest automotive-related thing I would ever see was that Jaguar (that's Jahg -U- are). Up on blocks.

Not so. A couple of weeks ago I spotted something so odd that I had to start tailgating the van in front of me to be sure of what I was seeing. Sure enough, hanging from beneath the rear bumper was a set of chrome-plated cojones. Part of its, er, towing package.

Update:

Look! I'm not nuts.

Pour Some Sugar on Me

I think one of the boys has been eating plain old sugar. I buy the REALLY BIG SUGAR POUCH from BJ's Wholesale Club when I go, and this morning I went to grab it from the pantry shelf to refill the regular sugar bowl. It has one those zipper closures that turned out to be wide open. And the whole bag spilled right on my head. It's like having sand in your hair. Bleah.

I WANT MY TWO DOLLARS!

We never had the full debate about allowance vs. giving kids money for doing chores. I think Piper made the decision for us. He offered Tigger $1 to straighten out the mudroom. He did it, and I wound up giving him another dollar for all the work he did last weekend while we were preparing for the arrival of his grandparents. Tigger was thrilled. He spent the rest of the night murmuring "I love my two dollars, I love my two dollars." After he went to bed, I spent a half an hour watching Better Off Dead clips on You Tube. That Japanese Howard Cosell guy...Bwahahaha. I'd forgotten about that. It's so hard to believe that John Cusack is a grown-up now. Wait, he's my age.

Sigh.

Sticky Notes 4: Automotive Edition

Living in a small town has made me less of the stereotypical "Massachusetts Driver" than I used to be, but there are some days...

Merge!

So you know how a right lane ends and you find yourself trying to merge into what used to be the center lane? Yesterday some #)&%head in a teal #)&%box station wagon, wouldn't let me into traffic in front of him. I was frustrated, but as luck would have it, there was an opening right behind him and in the passing lane. Waving as I blew by him on the other side felt soooo good.

Hey You...

in the bright yellow Hummer with the W04 sticker on the back. You look ridiculous. You know that, don't you?

And You...

with the Hummer parked in the driveway because your car is bigger than the garage and as tall as your stupid little house. For the 45K you must have spent for that vehicle and the cost of gas for a year, you could have put a nice addition on your home. What a waste!

Lic. Plate on a Japanese-model sports car

POORSH

Auto-mobile

So there's a guy on the highway with one of those "Hang up and Drive" stickers on his bumper. I'm not big on the cell phone when I'm driving (or anywhere else for that matter), but I find that particular bumpersticker obnoxious. Here's the thing though, I go to pass the guy on the way down to work, and he's, wait for it, talking on his cell phone.

Sticky Notes 3

This Cold

This cold is kicking my butt. I'm not used to being sick. Scratch that. I was not used to being sick until I had kids. This is my second cold this winter. I've been through the gamut of symptoms except for a fever (shh!). Now I have no voice. That's usually my sign that the cold is over. I do wonder why this happens to me so frequently, I don't remember other relatives losing their voices. I need some Vitamin C, and I need to go to bed. The days of me running myself into the ground have got to come to an end. I can't afford to be sick anymore.

Vocabulary

Tigger, grade 1: "Today in school, we learned about antibodies."  I don't get it. I have one child who can barely make himself understood and one who consumes $14 words with abandon.

Politics Partisanship 101

Tigger, watching a clip from Peresopolis on BBC America: Why do they have guns?

Me (grasping): They are fighting to see who is going to be in charge of the country.

Tigger: Who gets to be in charge?

Me: Whoever wins. But we don't do it that way in this country. You don't need a gun to have a say. At the end of the year, we, all the adults, get to say who is going to be in charge after this country after the guy who is President now is done with his turn.

Tigger: His turn?

Me: Yeah, the person who wins gets a turn for either 4 years or 8 years. This guy has been president for almost 8 years.

Tigger: 8 years? That was quick.

Me: Not quick enough.

Piper: Oh well, you tried.

Say What?

Have you ever heard of "booty dancing?" Yikes.

Beep Beep, Beep Beep, Yeah!

We finally got a car! Picked it up last night and went out to dinner. The kids were pretty good.

We wound up buying a Toyota Highlander. Not a Hybrid or a Limited, because I could find either one within a reasonable driving distance. It doesn't have all the lovely gadgets that I had with the Subaru, and in a few short weeks I know I will miss those heated seats, but it's a Toyota. It has a rumble third row seat.

So far, the kids have managed to take turns with that third row seat pretty well. And I cannnot believe how much it has cut down on the fighting.

Now the trick is to keep it clean.